i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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