I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
