just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
