i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
