we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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