goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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