Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
