Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
