what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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