I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You need Xanax blowdarts
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize