Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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