Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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