Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
