It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
