is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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