He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
