someone get that fucking seahorse.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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