I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the day after is always just damage control
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
