Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
how drunk are you?
Several
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
