The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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