I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
