I have demons in me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
