I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize