Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
