we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
