I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I stole a fireplace last night.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
