if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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