There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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