would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
