dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
