hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
