i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
