Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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