R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
