I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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