If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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