Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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