i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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