Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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