On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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