no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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