So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
