We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
