I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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