It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
