Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize