if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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