Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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