this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
