dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
