what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
