I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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