Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
