we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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