Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
tell me about the eggs
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
