Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
