he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize