well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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