I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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