He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
